To Hold in Open Hands
by NinthFeather
Summary: Ayumi definitely has to learn karate. Ran wants to know why. Written for Gosho Girls Week on Tumblr, for the prompt "Ayumi being taught martial arts by one of the older girls."


**To Hold in Open Hands**

"You fell out of stance again," Ran chided, gently.

Ayumi frowned, and slid her foot back a few centimeters. The tatami mat covering the dojo floor was rough against her foot as it moved. She wondered if Ran could even feel the mat anymore–her teacher's feet were padded with thick, pale calluses that were probably older than Ayumi herself was.

She also wondered if the other Detective Boys were having fun at the park, and wished, just a little, that she'd gone with them to play ball this afternoon. But her mom had said that she couldn't just skip karate lessons that she'd begged and begged for to play. It would be rude.

Besides, this was important. Ayumi had to learn karate. She frowned a bit more and concentrated on what Ran was was saying.

"There, that's it," Ran said. "Now, make a fist."

"How do I hold my arm?" Ayumi asked.

"Just make a fist," Ran said. "We'll worry about the rest of the position later."

Ayumi squeezed her fingers together into a fist, just as tight as she could.

Ran dropped out of her stance and knelt down to inspect Ayumi's hand. "Careful," she said. "If you tuck your thumb inside of the rest of your fingers, you'll hurt it whenever you punch something."

"Really?" Ayumi asked. _Punching someone can hurt you?_ she thought, concerned.

Ran nodded, serious. "If you learn to punch as hard as I can, but you still curl your thumb inside of your fingers like that, you could break it."

"What about if you don't tuck your thumb in?" Ayumi asked. "Does punching something still hurt?"

Ran looked thoughtful. "I guess it does, a little bit," she said. "You might be doing it on purpose, but it has consequences for you, too. That's why you have to train hard, and never try to break boards without someone supervising you!"

 _But…I don't like it when things hurt!_ Ayumi thought. _And I really don't want to break my thumb! Still…I definitely have to learn karate. So I'll just get braver, that's all._

"Besides, you're still pretty new at karate," Ran said. "You won't be punching anything but air until you have a lot more practice."

"But eventually I'm going to have to, right?" Ayumi said, her voice trembling a little. "So I should know about this. That way, when I have to punch somebody, I'll know how to!"

"Why would you have to punch someone?" Ran asked, looking concerned and just a little scary. "Ayumi, is someone being mean to you? Because it's not okay to learn karate so you can hurt people, but I can talk to your teacher if I need to…"

"No, no, it's nothing like that!" Ayumi said, panicking and stepping out of her stance. "I just–"

"Ayumi, who are you planning to punch?" Ran asked, sitting down, cross-legged, on the dojo floor. "I know that sometimes I joke about punching my," she paused, blushing, "my friend Shinichi, but that's different. Martial arts aren't for beating people up. They're about discipline and respect."

"And protecting people!" Ayumi interjected, feeling butterflies start up in her stomach. _Maybe I got it all wrong,_ she thought. "Right?"

"…That too," Ran said, slowly.

"Then, is that a good reason to learn karate?" Ayumi asked.

"To protect someone?" Ran asked. "It's–Ayumi, you're a kid, you should be learning karate for yourself. Whoever you're trying to protect, I'm sure I can–"

"You aren't always there!"

Ran flinched, startled, and Ayumi realized that she'd yelled.

"I like being a Detective Boy, except that sometimes, when we're trying to solve a case, the bad guy finds us before we find him," Ayumi babbled. "And it's not just losing, it's scary, because sometimes they say they're going to hurt us, and just because they haven't gotten to yet doesn't mean that they never will. The police save us, or Conan saves us, or you save us–but I don't want to just be saved anymore. I wanna save everyone else!"

There were tears dripping down her cheeks. She wiped them away forcefully and then sniffled.

"Oh, Ayumi," Ran said, softly. "You've been worrying about that for a long time, haven't you?"

Ayumi nodded, because her throat felt thick and tight, and it was hard to get words through it.

"Ayumi, it's good that you're trying to save yourself," Ran said. "And by the time you're my age, you should definitely be able to. But you're still a little girl, and for now, it's okay to let other people protect you. I know it can be scary, solving mysteries with Conan. I remember how Shinichi used to be." She sighed. "But I promise that my dad and I and the police and the other grownups will do everything they can to keep you safe." She smiled and held out a hand to Ayumi, with the pinky extended. "Pinky promise."

Ayumi sniffled again, but linked her own pinky with Ran's and chanted the syllables along with her, "Pin-ky pro-mise!"

 _It's not a guarantee,_ Ayumi thought. _She said that "they'll do everything they can," not that "they will." But…if she'd said, "they will," she would have been lying. Conan's told us that before–that no one knows for sure how everything will turn out, not even him. Sometimes, evem grownups just have to guess and hope. But at least she's promising as much as she can. That's…really cool._

"Now, I have an important question to ask you," Ran said. "If you aren't learning karate just to protect your friends, do you still want lessons?"

Ayumi stared up at Ran. "How much does hitting something hurt?" she asked, carefully.

"Not very much, really," Ran said. "It just kind of…stings a little, unless it's concrete."

Ayumi blinked. "Conan's right, you're a little scary."

Ran grinned, and stood up. "Just for that, I'll train you twice as hard!" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You can't train me twice as hard if I quit," Ayumi countered.

"Are you going to quit?" Ran asked.

"No!" Ayumi protested. "Yoshida Ayumi isn't a quitter!"

"Good for you," Ran said, smiling a little more brightly. "Now, let's get back to training!"

Ayumi tried to get back into her stance, and nearly fell, then managed to put her feet in the right places. She held out a fist, with her thumb pressed up against the outside of her first finger.

"Very good," Ran said approvingly. "Now, both fists up!"

Ayumi tried to imitate a character from Kamen Yaiba, and held her fists up with her elbows sticking out.

"No, you have to tuck your elbows up against your body," Ran said gently, demonstrating the stance herself. Her arms were two straight lines on either side of her torso.

Ayumi tried to mirror her, but it was hard. Her elbows kept wanting to stick out.

 _Do I really want to do this?_ she thought _. It's hard, and I won't be able to protect anybody, at least not right away._

"Now, punch," Ran said, demonstrating. Her fist snapped forward, striking open air and then returning to its original position so fast that Ayumi could barely see it.

Ayumi tried. Her movement wasn't as smooth or as fast as Ran's, but it looked kind of the same.

"That was good, for a first try," Ran said.

 _She thought I was good!_ Ayumi thought. _Maybe, someday, I really will be._

 _I won't give up,_ she thought. _Because Ran is right. For right now, it's someone else's job to protect me, but I'll still need to protect people someday. And because…if I'm going to protect people, then, I think that when I'm older, I want to be cool like Ran._

"Now, do it again," Ran said.

"Yes, sensei!" Ayumi said, punching the air again.

 _I'm definitely not going to give up!_ she thought. _And someday, I will protect everyone._

 _A/N: "Karate" means "open hand," so the title is a reference to that. This fic is posted on Tumblr and AO3 as well._


End file.
